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You get what you get and you don't get upset

What is this?  We won't tell you... But this could be good.   Can't decide what you want as a free gift ? Feel like this could be exciting?   Well it might be disappointing too.. Roll the dice and risk it.

Selecting this as your free gift lets us decide what you get.  By adding this to your cart you are accepting our terms to not complain about what we pick out for you.  It might be a paperclip, a bong, or a shoelace from one of Jared's shoes.  (Of course we took his shoes away.  We don't want him to be able to run away..). But what I do promise is that the more you spend on your order, the bigger the box, the better your gift will be.

Let's get weird.